The Centares and the Unicorns with Dumbledore
by FantasyGirl20
Summary: Sex Ed with Albus. This takes places year 4 before the Yule Ball. Features Draco's snide comments. Comedic routine with Professor Snape and uncomfortable conversation with Professor Dumbledore. No pairing (maybe Cho/Harry but that's mild)


**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter**

_Beta help and the one who came up with the title is _siss7

With the announcement of the Yule Ball the kids teenage hormones hung heavy in the air. Professor McGonagall thought it was time for a little educational lesson about their hormones

"You know, I can't do this Albus," she gave him a pointed look.

"Are you telling me that I have to give the talk?" Albus Asked then replaced his glasses properly on his nose. He was in disbelief. "You know I love being headmaster here, but…Not that much." He grimaced.

Minerva glanced at him with a smirk. "They have a right to know. Some of the kids were probably never taught." She explained.

They exchanged a knowing look, they both knew who "some of the kids" were.

"Okay, but I'm pinning this on you. I can't believe you'd have an old wizard like me do this.." He said then stood up to walk towards the door. "And Minerva?" He paused to turn to look at her. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He left to roam the castle with a disgruntled Minerva.

It was the following Friday and all the fourth year students were piling in the Defense the Dark Arts classroom. Everyone in the room had uncomfortable expressions. Professor Dumbledore didn't have his own classroom, only his own office space. After multiple attempts at convincing Severus Snape to let Albus Dumbledore use his office, Severus allowed him to use it for this one special lesson . Severus despised hormones talks, but he had to stay to keep an eye on the children, who had hit puberty but not maturity.

As Draco strode into the room and stole some kid's seat and rolled his eyes. "This will be priceless." He smirked. "My father will be hearing about this." He said aloud. "He's told me everything I need to know."

"That's enough Draco," Professor Snape snickered at him.

Hermione had a stare that made Draco look away and straight at the wall.

"This is going to be embarrassing," Ron muttered as he placed his hand over his face. His red face matched his hair..

"Oh come on Ron, it's not going to be that bad." Hermione muttered back.

Harry was just trying not to attract attention because Cho Chang was in the room and Harry sorta, kinda had a crush on her. . "Can we just not talk about this?" He crossed his arms on his desk and leaned his head against his arms. "I mean, Professor Dumbledore is talking about this!" He hissed at Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat. "I know it's not really conventional but we have to learn sometime." She shrugged her shoulders and never one to turn her nose up at a learning opportunity..

Professor Dumbledore had a flustered look on his face. He was put to the challenge even though it wasn't his idea. He had pulled out his wand and pointed at the board. He rubbed his forehead because he was apprehensive about this and definitely thought this was a bad idea. Smirking, he glanced around to see everyone. They were all chatting away but didn't seem to pay attention to the fact that he was trying to get their attention. "Silence!" He paused while waiting for everyone to calm down. " Right, Class I'm well aware The Yule Ball is coming up. . And why you're doing things. You see it's a natural response to the reproductive system…."

As Professor Dumbledore was talking Harry was still lying his head over his arms and noticed a tap on his shoulder. It looked like a paper plane and when he picked it up and opened it, the animated drawing was of him kissing a girl. Knowing it was Draco he glared at him while Draco himself was making kissy faces at Harry. And Professor Snape silently walked over to Draco and smacked him on the back of his head with his hand.

Professor Dumbledore was still going on about the reproductive system. He finished the girls and now he was talking about the guys reproductive system.

Harry looked at Hermione who was scribbling notes. Ron however looked bored and uninterested.

"I'm aware, that some of you may be experiencing your feelings if it's same-sex or opposite, please know that you're safe here and that no one will make fun of who you are."

Harry all of a sudden staggered to the floor. _At least he caught himself on his hands and knees and not his face. _He thought as he was struggling to stand up. He was caught off guard when he heard what his headmaster was saying.

There was silence in the room and everyone stared at him. All of a sudden, Draco was the one who started laughing. Harry blushed with embarrassment.

Professor Dumbledore used her wand to project her voice. "Silence!" he yelled across the room. "This is not a laughing matter and this is a serious subject." She calmly said. "Now Harry, sit back down. And continue to listen. I know this is an uncomfortable matter, but you all must know the severity of this topic..." Professor Dumbledore said.

"Contraceptive…" Professor Dumbledore said uncomfortably. He didn't appreciate teaching this kind of subject. It wasn't in his repertoire. He rubbed his forehead. Looking at Severus, he rolled his eyes at his smirk. "Right…."He paused to look around the room and sighed. Everyone in the room seemed uncomfortable as well with this part of the topic. Severus, who he looked at, was looking out of sorts. As if he didn't belong. _Well, why would he belong with adolescent kids? _"You see, you must always be cautious and prepared." He was pacing across the room. "There's a spell to use before you uh…" He coughed. "Coitus Interruptus, is a spell you use before you," he coughs, "have intercourse." He rubbed his forehead again and looked at Severus who this time looked amused at the topic.

"Now, I'm not condoning this behavior. You see…"He paused and rubbed his entire face as if he was frustrated with something. "Look, your hormones are changing. I know everyone feels uncomfortable right now, as I do. But I too felt the same way, and had no direction. "I would like you to be aware to be respectful of boundaries and be kind to one another. If you happen to find anyone bullying someone I would assume you'd do the right thing to report it. Everyone had suffered enough. Pip pip, off you go." He clapped then scurried off.

As Professor Dumbledore left. Everyone was left stunned in silence.


End file.
